Daily Mantra: "
If you want to be happy, be." -Leo Tolstoy.
I think that this quote just MIGHT be my favorite quote ever. Upon my search for THE perfect happiness quote to go along with my photos today, I found it. And let me just tell you...I think that this quote is pure jackpot.
First, let me say, that I pretty darn sure that Mom has been ripping quotes off from Tolstoy for far too long, because as I was looking through all of his sayings, all of her little "smartisms" just came pouring out. (That is just bad, Mom!! I know your secrets now)
I am about one of the happiest people you will ever meet, despite my occasional moodiness and tenancy to brood over my own (and somethings other people's) mistakes. I had someone tell me recently..." Your life is perfect, what do you have to be unhappy about anyway, that is why you are always happy." For the most part...its true. My life is perfect in a truly dysfunctional way. However, in my 24 years on the planet (ok...that is lie or just me in denial...I am almost 28), it hasn't ALWAYS been as nice. Everyone has a past...everyone has hard times. What I am trying to really say is that it has sucked at times. The good news is, that my darling Mom (no matter how much stuff she has stolen from Tolstoy) instilled in me this idea that happiness is something you create for yourself.
Story time...this post is getting a bit long...so if you want to leave at this point, be my guest.
My parents divorced when I was 4...which as it turned out, was not a sad thing in the least as they are both wonderful people but just not meant for eachother. My mom and I moved into this apartment on the coast, and we were really on the edge financially. We moved in the winter, and the apartment was very old, with very high ceilings. Very, very cold. My mom could not afford heating oil, so we had shut off the living room and another side room in the house, and basically lived out of the kitchen and our bedrooms. She heated with karosine heaters (not the nice ones they have now either...the ones that, in all honesty, might as well be a portable bomb). Maine winter = more cold than cold in an old house with no insulation. I could wake up on some days and see my breath and the windows had frosted on the INSIDE on really bad days. I knew that it was cold, but mom would help me to play "make believe" that we were camping out, or we would just dance around in a silly way, and she would really make a fun time out of it, as we were all bundled up and she was trying to get the heaters lighted. Sometimes she would even dress me all up, take me to my grandma's down the street (grandma's house is always warm, of course...haha). I had totally NO clue at all that we were even poor until years later...like 4 years ago, as she was watching be bring my babe Mikki ( a year old at the time) into the doorway of the house dancing like a crazy person to try and warm up from the cold weather we had just been in.
"Remember when you used to do this with me, Mom?"
A mom memorable chuckle coming from the other side of her head when I can tell she is thinking back at how silly, and ridiculous, those times where, and how I clearly don't know ANYTHING about how bad things really were because she was too busy trying to make everything fun.
Ok...point already, Amanda!
Chose happiness. Stuff can be *^%@#%. We all know that, but wallowing in misery never helped your mood get better.
*Notes to self* Come back and read this when you are having a crappy day. Another note, try a shorter post tomorrow so as not to bore anyone with any of your childhood tales.